Finding Balance

Lighthouse Conversations
Written By Matt Juzenas, Director of Strategic Operations

Lighthouse meets every other Wednesday evening from 8:30-9:30 pm (CST). If you haven’t joined us before, we invite you to come and sit awhile with this beautiful group of parents. As a community, we gather to celebrate the highs and support each other through the challenges. This is a conversation with other parents who understand what you are experiencing. Grab your favorite beverage join us. This is a program for parents with students attending Islands of Brilliance programming. Register here.

Another week has passed, and as we look outside we see nature coming alive and shifting into a new season. The once bare and brown trees are becoming full with beautiful flowers and lush, green leaves. 

While the week started with gloomy days of rain, the sunshine that broke through yesterday felt that much warmer and brighter…and just look at the resulting deep greens of the lawns! Without the rain, the plants wither away…without the dry and sunny days, they become waterlogged and rot. Too much rain or too much sun both result in similar ends, the plants need a balance of both to survive. I think we’re a lot like those plants, aren’t we?

We all know that finding a balance in life can be a huge challenge! How many of us have struggled over the years to find that ever-elusive work-life balance? Struggled to find a way to balance self-care with childcare and running a home? I find that the quest for balance usually involves a bit of mindfulness, it takes intentional work to balance out our emotions.

As we talked about some of the things we were struggling with as a group, we talked about the need to acknowledge and honor what we might view as negative forces in our lives…but the power of then finding a counter-point of positivity to balance out that negative force.

We often feel out of balance when we feel there are aspects of our lives that are out of control. More specifically, out of our control. We often put the most energy, both mental and physical, into trying to gain control of situations. But some things aren’t meant for us to control, and yet we put so much energy into worrying about it or trying to change it…but to what end?

I have a simple list of questions I run through when I find something is taking a lot of my energy but I just keep feeling stuck, spinning around it. They help me know if I need to take action or let it go. I think of whatever is troubling me and ask:

  1. Do I have control over it?
    If the answer is yes, then do something about it! If the answer is no, move on to question two.

  2. Do I need to have control over it?
    If the answer is yes, stop avoiding it and go back to question one! If the answer is no, move on to question three.

  3. Can I let it go?
    If you’ve made it this far, the only acceptable answer is that you must let it go.

It might sound simple, but one of the best ways to strike balance in your life is to let go of the things you cannot control and put your energy into the things you can. There is a great freedom to be found in letting go and refocusing your efforts! As one parent shared with her son this past week, “It’s not your monkey, it’s not your circus!”

Image Source: The Counseling Teacher

Here’s another exercise to try in order to help find balance. If at any point during this week, you find yourself overwhelmed with hurt, anger, anxiety, or any "negative emotion"…find a piece of paper or notecard and draw a yin-yang. Write what you are feeling on one side, then find a complimentary or opposite emotion to write on the other side. I’ve also attached a PDF you can use. Try to find the balance in every situation. It can be easier said than done. Here’s an example I wrote last week when I was worried about my husband having to return to work full-time in the office:

I hope that you all have a safe and wonderful holiday weekend. Continue to seek the light, create moments of joy, and pause to find the balance of each situation. Honor the challenges. Let go of the things that are not useful and do not bring you joy. Let go of the things you cannot control. Tend to and foster the health of your own monkies, and be the ringmaster of your own, beautiful circus.


Peace and Love,
Matt and all of us at Islands of Brilliance

Matt Juzenas, Director of Strategic Operations

With a background in both special education and graphic design, Matt blends these two disciplines creating unique, engaging learning opportunities for the participants at Islands of Brilliance. In his corporate marketing and agency days, Matt was a strategic and empowering Creative Director. Guiding with compassion and kindness, he formed and led high performing teams who brought their best selves to work. As an educator, Matt takes a similarly holistic approach to each of his students.

With a passion for learning and an ongoing commitment to self-improvement, Matt is an avid reader and explorer of process. An advocate for mental health awareness, he believes that by sharing our stories we find common ground and connection, creating communities of support and understanding. He enjoys spending time playing board games, crocheting, and cooking delicious meals for family and friends.

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