Joy Hunting
Lighthouse meets every other Wednesday evening from 8:30-9:30 pm (CST). If you haven’t joined us before, we invite you to come and sit awhile with this beautiful group of parents. As a community, we gather to celebrate the highs and support each other through the challenges. This is a conversation with other parents who understand what you are experiencing. Grab your favorite beverage join us. This is a program for parents with students attending Islands of Brilliance programming. Register here.
Last week we talked about gratitude and how when we express what we are grateful for, we create a cycle where we continually find more and more to be grateful for. So we began our evening by sharing a few things that we were grateful for that day:
When our families are functioning as a great team
The resilience we are seeing in our children
Coworkers reaching out and connecting beyond work talk and showing kindness
Our mental and physical health
Strong legs to take us on the walks that help us stay sane
The change in weather which allows us to get outside more
Bonfires with the family
The extra time we’ve been able to spend together
The opportunity to be at the table for meetings at work
Returning to some of the more simple things in life like baking, and seeing our children take ownership of activities
When our children help out!
The flexibility/shift of our schedules are allowing us to experience the beauty of early mornings
While we are finding much to be grateful for, that doesn’t mean we aren’t also struggling with challenges big and small each day. Our kids are struggling so we are having to find new ways to support them and be there for them. For many of us, work is more stressful than ever. The time we are spending together can be something we are both grateful for…but also need a break from now and then! We’re angry and anxious. As one parent shared, there’s nothing more painful than watching your child get hurt. And they are hurting.
As we look at social media and have conversations about gratitude and joy, it is easy to feel bad for being angry, anxious, depressed, or tired. We have to allow ourselves to feel these perfectly normal emotions. There should not be any judgment, shame, or guilt for feeling this way. We wouldn’t be human without them, especially right now. So don’t stuff those feelings down, or hide them. Feel them, embrace them…and then try to counteract them by finding some balance with gratitude and joy.
Last night, we talked about the idea of being “joy-hunters.” It is easy to feel joyless as we spend another day in the house, our regular lives interrupted and changed without our permission. Sometimes joy comes to us, but often it is a choice we make to seek out or create moments of joy. We often wait for the big, flashy moments…but what about hunting for small moments of joy? Can we seek out and find joy in the everyday, mundane tasks?
As we look at our daily lives, can we apply Marie Kondo’s philosophy from The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up to our emotional lives? Kondo’s work is around the physical objects in our home, organizing and decluttering. The focus isn’t on the amount of stuff you have, but rather evaluating each object on two questions, “Is it useful? Does it bring me joy?” As you take inventory of the obligations and pressures we put upon ourselves each day to be the perfect parent, partner, employee, teacher, community member…ask yourself if that expectation is useful…does it bring you joy? And if the answer is no, give yourself permission to let it go. Of course, there are realities of adult life that we all must face. But really think about where we can give ourselves the gift of a graceful goodbye to the pressures that are keeping us from experiencing joy.
Some of the simple, small ways I’ve been bringing joy to my daily life have been:
Hidden Messages: I often leave a little note, hidden around the house for my husband to find. It can be a simple line of appreciation or affirmation, a funny joke, a random fact, or a fond memory…and sometimes even a silly doodle. It brings me joy to think up what I will share with him, and then it feels even better to share and pass along that joy.
Getting Outside: Take a walk around the neighborhood and notice the world is a little quieter right now. Take in the beauty of the birds chirping, the wind in the trees, the plants starting to bloom and flower. Observe the things we are often too busy to notice, find moments of joy in the discovery of looking at the world a little differently.
Reading: I love escaping into a good book! It took me a long time to find my love of reading, but when I did I find great joy in the moments I set aside to read and learn. I personally enjoy non-fiction more than fiction, so my escape is into the world of Brené Brown (The Gifts of Imperfection), Glennon Doyle (Untamed), or biographies like Tina Fey (Bossypants) and Michelle Obama (Becoming). I don’t always have the time to read, so audiobooks are a great option as well! (Check out the Libby App to check out eBooks and Audiobooks for free with your library card!)
Music: I created a Come On Get Happy playlist a while back on Spotify. Whenever I need a boost, I blast this 2.5 hours of happiness and have a dance party with my puppies. It is a great energy boost while cooking or cleaning around the house too!
Comfort Viewing: One of my goto shows that always lifts me up is I’ll Have What Phil’s Having (PBS) and Somebody Feed Phil (Netflix). Phil Rosenthal, the creator of the TV hit Everybody Loves Raymond, travels the world exploring the people and food of different cultures. This show is like a delicious and funny hug!
Fall Into a YouTube-hole of Positivity: There are so many great ways to escape the overload of the news cycle. John Krasinsky (Jim from The Office) has started his own news channel: Some Good News. Each week he brings in guests like Oprah, the original cast of Hamilton, Steven Spielberg, Malala Yousafzai, NASA astronauts from the International Space Station, and many more to celebrate graduations, proms, potlucks, and other events we might be missing out on right now. Each episode is 15-25 minutes of joy! Other YouTube searches to try: Faith In Humanity Restored or Happy Puppies.
Little Gifts: We talked last night about the fatigue of shopping…having to go to multiple places to check off our shopping lists, and searching online for the latest necessity. But what about that small item you’ve had in your wishlist for a long time now? That thing you’ve wanted to get, but keep saying no to because of responsibilities and daily needs. Maybe a little retail therapy, within reason, is just the thing to bring you joy right now. Treat yourself! For me, it was this rolling pin and Swedish Dishcloths that I’ve wanted for years, and I finally said yes to. Or the rose bush I brought home for Mike from Costco the other day because they remind him of his mom. Nothing extravagant, certainly not necessary…but they have brought moments of joy.
What are some ways you are finding joy as a newly licensed “joy-hunter”? How can you bring this spirit of seeking joy into your family’s daily routine?
Peace and Love,
Matt and all of us at Islands of Brilliance
Banner Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay
