Have a Heapin’ Helpin’ of Some Freudenfreude
Gabe presents his Foundation Workshop creation with his mentor, Charlie.
The skies are gray, the leaves are falling, and there’s a pronounced chill in the air—Thanksgiving will soon be here. A beloved day of celebration when we fill up on family, fill up our plates, and fill the air with gratitude. It’s definitely my favorite holiday of the year.
I recently found myself thinking about the nature of gratitude, as it is both a core value of Islands of Brilliance as well as something I practice daily. As I reflected on the nature of gratitude, I began to realize there are different levels of gratitude and that perhaps I was stuck in my practice. It seemed to me that the gratitude I was practicing—being thankful for the good things in my life, as well as the generosity that has been bestowed upon IOB—is absolutely healthy and necessary, but maybe there was something beyond that. What about gratitude for good things that have nothing to do with me, but happen to other people?
Hmmmm.
I felt like that could be an even more evolved practice of gratitude. And I began to realize there are actually many good things that happen to other people that bring me joy. Here are a few recent examples:
My good friend Coe Douglas—who also happens to be a long-time IOB mentor and collaborator—recently was hired by the University of Wisconsin Madison to be part of their emerging Master of Science in Design + Innovation program. This is absolutely the best, most perfect opportunity for Coe. I was beyond happy for him, and grateful he has this incredible chance to leverage all of his talents at a world-class university (and one of my favorite foodie towns).
I recently attended the Community Housing Task Force State of Housing Conference and reconnected with Emily Peters, an IOB parent and supporter. I was so happy to hear about Communities of Crocus, a housing development she is launching with co-founder Amy Hensel. Their mission: create supportive homes of choice for adults with autism and similar intellectual & developmental disabilities that give them a sense of pride, accomplishment, and dignity through providing services and housing within a natural environment. Imagine how much better our community will be because of their passion and commitment.
I was driving over the highrise bridge, and saw a digital billboard for the Experience Milwaukee podcast, with my pal Steve Glynn’s face on it. And I was like, “What, they’re on billboards now?”A day later I ran into him at our mutual hangout Wantable Cafe, and I told him “Dude, I saw you on a billboard, what’s going on?” He was tickled that I saw it, and said yeah they’re leaning into their success and really going for it. How can you not be happy about that?
In a bit of serendipity, as I was reflecting on all of this, I came across a social media post that mentioned the concept of “freudenfreude.” I got the reference immediately—it’s the opposite of schadenfreude. I did some additional digging, and quickly found this NY Times article on the topic.
Finding pleasure in another person’s good fortune is what social scientists call “freudenfreude,” a term (inspired by the German word for “joy”) that describes the bliss we feel when someone else succeeds, even if it doesn’t directly involve us.
Erika Weisz, an empathy researcher and postdoctoral fellow in psychology at Harvard University, said the feeling closely resembles positive empathy — the ability to experience someone else’s positive emotions. A small 2021 study examined positive empathy’s role in daily life and found that it propelled kind acts, like helping others. Sharing in someone else’s joy can also foster resilience, improve life satisfaction, and help people cooperate during a conflict.
Can we all let out a collective “Heck yeah!?!?” The article goes on to highlight some tips for cultivating freudenfreude, including:
Show an active interest in someone else’s happiness
View individual success as a communal effort
Share credit for your successes with others
Turn into a joy spectator
This Thanksgiving, go all in on the mashed potatoes and gravy. Sweet potatoes? Yes, more, please. And don’t forget to have a heapin’ helpin’ of some freudenfreude.
Happy Thanksgiving!
